Never allow yourself to be cajoled into feeling guilty or spiritually inadequate by the treacle that healing and forgiving are inseparable.
Saying that you can’t be healed unless you’ve forgiven your abuser is like saying that a cut can’t be healed as long as visible scar tissue remains.
that they’re being sexually abused; all they know is that their father is paying special and even loving attention to them.
But later—could be a day, week, or years later—you may find a wave of an altogether different sort pulling you back out to sea, where you will again find yourself cold, lost, and feeling as if you’re sinking.
That whole back-and-forth dynamic is just part of the healing process.
We are obsessed with group games that produce hilariousness.
It can be anything you want, but here are some good ones to get you started.
Since some of these are pretty easy to guess, I timed them for 45 seconds and gave them 1 point for each one they got during that time limit.
So sometimes a team would get only 1, sometimes they could get 4.And, just like that, he’s secured for himself a quiet, pliant toy that he is free to abuse at will.The real crime of sexual abuse isn’t physical; it’s psychological, emotional, spiritual.You make someone despise who they are sexually—which is at the very core of the identity of all of us—and you’ve created damage that easily lasts for generations. And you are free to step out into it, the same as anyone else.4. The fact that a person asks you to forgive them in no way obliges you to extend to them your forgiveness.If you yourself have been the unhappy recipient of such a tragic legacy, the last thing on earth you need to worry about is forgiving your abuser. And you do not have to spend the rest of your life dwelling like a criminal in the dark, dank hovel to which your abuser condemned you, and within which he depended upon you remaining. If your abuser tells you that he feels bad about what he did to you, then: A) Whoopee for him; and B) That’s not your problem.Victims of abuse commonly enough get trapped into believing that because they felt healed and benevolent on Tuesday, there’s something wrong with them if on Friday they’re back to feeling wounded and bitter.