Here's an example of what NOT to do:(There's no intrigue here, no mystery. he's asking you to put effort in immediately, without knowing anything about him other than what he looks like in a miniature avatar image ...and he doesn't stand out from the pack at all ... If you're a guy, never ever wink; if you're a girl, wink away. Once someone's intrigued by your message, they'll often visit your profile to see what you're about. Remember that people have many, many options when it comes to who they message on these sites, so your profile must impress while simultaneously avoiding any red flags (of which there are many).(Like with profile photos, I'm sure I'll go into greater depth about online dating profiles elsewhere).7. There tend to be roughly two types of profiles on dating sites: a) long, sophisticated, intelligent ones and b) short, immature, one or two sentence ones.A good image should make them want to click on the message because they're curious.
Back when I was a precocious, introverted youth who completely lacked charm, I tried online dating. Over the course of a couple years I, along with a team of friends, split tested multiple profiles, in multiple cities, on various sites, and gauged the opposite sex's responses to different messages, as well as what sequences of messages led to the best response.
I totally struck out, which wasn't particularly surprising at the time. By this point in my life I had come out of my shell, all that, so I decided to try online dating again. By the end of my time doing this I had discovered many key tips and best practices for online dating, as well as many "copy-and-paste" message templates that routinely had a response rate hovering around 75%.
The thing is, even if she’s interesting, she most likely wrote a whole bunch of clichés in her profile: “I’m nice, smart, kind, warm, funny, honest and family-oriented. I’m looking for my best friend, lover and partner in crime for a lifetime of love and laughter.” (Scary how easy it is to approximate the typical online dating profile, isn’t it? Even a specific response like “I noticed you enjoy biking. For example, if you’re writing to the foot model, you might say: Let’s drink to our fashion careers, Evan Sure, it’s a little goofy, but people actually respond to this stuff. Because it’s different, it’s audacious and, in a strange way, it’s kind of smart. It’s not an idle compliment or a generic, “Ooh, look what we have in common” line. Start your comment in the subject heading of the email, like this… Talk to you soon, Evan If these kinds of emails don’t work for you, no problem. Just keep in mind that the confidence it takes to write an email like that is compelling.
It’s a joke and, as we all know, people like people who make them laugh. I can fix your computer, landscape your backyard and probably even hotwire your car, but, for some reason, Ti Vo programming seems to elude me as well. Playing it safe is fine, but if an attractive person has dozens, if not hundreds, of options, you need to shake things up a little bit to break through the clutter. Interesting piece, which I’ll have to parse at length when I have the time…but it leads me to throw out a theory I’ve been kicking around.
she's in school, into yoga, seems fun and a little bit adventurous ... what's something really smooth I could message her? something about your profile really caught my eye ...
;-)But, if you're looking at someone who's older or just more intelligent and refined, you can do something a bit different. and seemed strangely familiar in that sixth-sense, gut-sense kinda way.Remember, that’s why she wrote it – because she wants you to get to know her, not because she wants to be told for the umpteenth time that she’s hot. NOT the thing you like the most, NOT the thing you find most attractive, NOT the thing you have in common. It might be how she doesn’t know how to program her Ti Vo. Yes, you think it’s cool that she also likes Robert De Niro movies and skiing in Vail. The sillier and more over-the-top your email, the funnier it’ll be.Men who treat women as unique and interesting individuals stand a much greater shot of receiving a response. The most interesting tidbit in her profile is the thing that sounds like it couldn’t have been written by anybody else in the world. Whatever it is, take her quirky tidbit and turn it into your pickup line. The most effective way to catch someone’s attention in an initial email is with fiction. Because the truth, as we’ve established, is boring. But does any of that sound like a good pickup line to you? A good joke doesn’t require an explanation – it’s obviously a joke.You could send something like: I need your advice on something ...I stumbled across this girl's profile recently ...Spark curiosity with the first few lines of your email.